The last time I hugged Kenny Grimes was April 25th, 2003. He was 16, almost 17, and he drove away on that seemingly quiet morning, a gentle snow fell outside, yet the rain became heavy on his drive.
Kenny is a radiant and loving soul and his essence came through in the flash of his dazzling smiles, the warmth of his constant hugs, his golden aura; this kid had a heart of gold and was truly golden.
(For those of you following my juice feasting, I did not blog the whole time but did end up doing a 32 day modified juice feast) I add this here because, interestingly enough, the last two meals I prepared for Kenny were fresh squeezed orange juice with blue-green algae. He had one glass of 7 fresh oranges on the last evening we were together, and I sat by his feet and gave him a foot massage. Kenny had the smoothest and warmest feet, like satin even though he was a cross country runner and he walked with me daily most days of his life on earth.
The last morning we were together, I served him 7 more oranges, fresh squeezed into a juice, with blue green algae, probiotics, red marine algae, enzymes. He then jumped on the rebounder and drank 4 ounces of straight kale juice. This kid had glowing health, he could have lived in his body forever. (yes, he ate "junk" too, but he had nothing but pure thoughts, a sweet heart, and a brilliant mind.)
But he left his body that rainy day, five hours after the highway accident, a long surgery, his insides shredded, wounded, destroyed.
Kenny was and is the love of my life, right up there with his Daddy.
This morning I dreamed of a circus. There were many of the folks from our small town present watching the circus. I recognized some of Kenny's friends from his childhood, all grown up now. And then, off to the side, in the dream, there was Kenny, still age 16, the same haircut, the same sweatshirt, sitting there trying to go unnoticed. I went to him and wanted to hug him and he indicated that we could not hug. And then, just a bit later, his dad was able to hug him. I could not resist and so I went to him and opened my arms and, well, I had no choice, I had to hug him. He granted my wish, we hugged, and then he disappeared, as in vaporized, like twinkle powder, magic dust, sparkling moist golden glitter right into my heart. It was a hot golden mist that became a part of me. But again, he was gone from his physical form.
And I woke up. I was both happy and sad. He was so close, yet he slipped away. Again. Angel dust. How does he do that? Why does he do that? As his mom all I ever wanted was to hug him forever, to see him, talk with him, walk with him, be at his wedding, know his children, you know, all the earthly stuff.
And as his mom all I ever wanted was the best for him. The way I have gotten through 6 years of missing Kenny is by knowing that somehow his angelic and heavenly existence is what is best for him.
There is a link on my Facebook page, a few photos of Kenny Grimes, that my loving sister posted April 25th, 2009. http://www.facebook.com/people/yogi-suzi/1022280124 or simply find me the photos on my Yogi Suzi Facebook page, on the left side there is a link to the album.
I have the pictures and the essence of Kenny in my heart and his photos grace our walls.
Outside, plants that were given to us at his service six years ago thrive in full bloom because it is spring, because they too are remembering Kenny, Kenny Grimes, who lives on and on.
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